For some, it’s the quiet skill of comforting a friend without saying much. For others, it’s skillfully steering a tense work meeting or feeling someone’s mood change the second they walk into a room. Some of us are wired to feel emotions deeply but struggle to manage them. Others keep emotions at arm’s length, sometimes missing the emotional cues others are sending. Wherever you land, one thing is true for everyone - emotional intelligence is a force multiplier. It helps you navigate relationships, work, and even self-talk with more grace and confidence.
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No matter how much emotional intelligence you think you possess today, there is always room to grow. And when you combine it with self-awareness of your personality type, you unlock a deeper level of understanding that can change how you live and connect.
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The five pillars of emotional intelligence.

Daniel Goleman’s framework is one of the most widely accepted models of emotional intelligence. It identifies five key components:
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1. Self-awareness: The ability to recognize your own emotions as they arise.
2. Self-regulation: Managing or redirecting disruptive emotions and impulses.
3. Motivation: Cultivating an internal drive and resilience.
4. Empathy: Recognizing, understanding, and sharing the feelings of others.
5. Social skills: Managing relationships and influencing others effectively.
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These elements form the foundation of emotional intelligence and provide the emotional and social agility we all need to thrive. For a deeper breakdown, Yale University provides an excellent overview of these elements here: Yale Spotlight on Emotional Intelligence.
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How emotional intelligence enriches friendships, careers, and love.

In friendships.

Emotionally intelligent people listen beyond words. They notice subtle changes in tone or body language, check in when something feels off, and foster safe spaces where friends feel understood and accepted.
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In careers.

Emotional intelligence leads to better collaboration, leadership, and stress management. It helps you give and receive feedback, diffuse workplace tension, and navigate office dynamics with empathy and assertiveness.
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In romantic relationships.

You become more attuned to your partner’s emotional needs, resolve conflict without unnecessary drama, and deepen intimacy by creating emotional safety. Harvard Business School underlines that leaders with high emotional intelligence are more successful because they foster trust, communicate more effectively, and influence with empathy. You can read more about that here: HBS Online on Emotional Intelligence in Leadership.
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Inner work: test your emotional intelligence radar.

Take a deep breath. Answer these questions slowly and honestly - not just for the sake of completing them, but as a way to tune into yourself.
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1. When I experience strong emotions, do I notice them early or only after they influence my actions?
2. Do I tend to project my emotional state onto how I read others’ behavior?
3. Am I more comfortable analyzing emotions from a distance or feeling them in the moment?
4. In conflicts, do I reflect on how my personality affects my reactions - or do I stay stuck in defensiveness?
5. Do I truly understand how my personality type influences how I process emotions?
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Be present with your answers. Let them sit with you.
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Self-awareness isn’t about "getting it right." It's about recognizing patterns with curiosity and honesty. The more intentional you are in these moments, the stronger your emotional intelligence becomes.

How to spot lower emotional intelligence (in yourself or others).

Recognizing low emotional intelligence can be just as important as building it. Here are common signs, based on insights from HBS Online:
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• Poor impulse control: Frequent emotional outbursts or overreactions.
• Difficulty handling feedback: Seeing constructive criticism as a threat.
• Lack of empathy: Struggling to see things from another’s perspective.
• Blaming others: Shifting responsibility instead of owning up to mistakes.
• Relationship challenges: Frequent miscommunications, social tension, or fractured connections.
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Unchecked, these behaviors can undermine success and connection in both personal and professional settings. Spotting these tendencies is step one. Step two? Using tools like self-reflection and typology to shift toward more balanced emotional habits.
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Your emotional compass is the key to finding flow.

Emotional intelligence helps you create flow - the state where thoughts, emotions, and actions align. You move through life with greater ease and confidence, staying grounded even when life throws curveballs. When your emotional intelligence works in harmony with your personality type, you:
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• Communicate with clarity and kindness.
• Build trust in your personal and professional relationships.
• Understand emotional triggers and manage them with grace.
• Make decisions that feel aligned with your values and instincts.
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This is how you create flow, not just for yourself but for the people you share your life with.
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Mind this: The stronger your emotional compass, the fewer storms you fear.